Please open a door for me. I am so tired of feeling this way. Feeling so lost, like a ship without a rudder. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere, just bobbing through life and hoping for the best.
I am not much good at anything. Just insecure and even silly at times, latching at any semblance of normalcy but being afraid of being around people lest they judge me. Lest they break past the confident exterior and see past the bravado.
I don’t like being a victim, there are certainly people in worse off situations than me. But what I ask for Lord, is that you open a door for me, even just a sliver. So that I may start to see what my purpose for existence is.
Help me feel whole again, to see my value and self worth. I used to feel that you were on my side and no matter what came against me, I was confident in your power to get me through it.
Now I just feel lost, invisible,unseen,unheard and largely unfelt. How can I get out of this abyss threatening to swallow me? How can I ever find my voice, poise and confidence ever again?
Nobody really knows what it feels like to be me, but I am asking you Lord to just give me a sign. Give me something to hold on to. I am tired, I really am. Today is just one of those days that I am reminded of how inadequate I am.
Teach me to take, one day at a time. When the time is right, open the doors. In the wait, please hold my hand.